What Makes Our Thoughts?
We learn at an early age of our worldly existence that someone else has control over us. We are dependent on other tangible human beings for sustenance, comfort, cleanliness and warmth. We replicate speech patterns from significant others, receive food, clothes and love from them. Love is comfortable, warm and safe.
We are encouraged to walk, tie shoelaces and do a multitude of complex tasks; there are role models all around us. We receive positive encouragement for achievement and chastisement for failure. We leave mother to go to school where another authority figure takes over. We meet other children and learn camaraderie and to poke fun at the teacher. She/he is after all-bigger than us and together we find security in a group of other likeminded people. This is how we make friends.
The group, as well as the teacher, come with conditions attached. If you are perceived as different from the group then you are a threat to their love. If you are not good at sport you may be isolated, if your clothes and accent are different, this is used as an excuse for bullying. Remember most children want to grow up quicker than they actually can, so that they do not have to be dependent on someone’s love, because we learn that there are conditions to it. These conditions invariably carry a threat. How many bullies’ parents give unconditional other acceptance, especially to their kids? Bullying, as are suicidal impulses, is a cry for help. To be understood, to be happy, to be loved.
We learn consciously that love has conditions. It becomes unconscious, as we grow a little older. Yet is still a prevalent conscious/unconscious desire. It becomes a need with conditions. It becomes a must when we experience a threat for this need. This demand is irrational. It is replicating the control parents/adults hold over us, and then we use it against our self. This is used to chastise and harangue us to do better. Better at what? Achievement, success, wealth, happiness. Fundamentally what are those? To be seen to be opulent? That is conditional. That is failure. This failure is perpetuated by the same old carrot and stick trick. This contrived inadequacy perpetuated by manipulative people who learn through this deception, that “love” equals power and control and opulence.
Opium for the masses.
We are all sucked into this trap of conditional self-aggrandisement. Then deny it with Miss World contrition that we really do want to save the planet and help people.
As Ellis stated, human beings have predisposition to think irrationally. We are all fundamentally selfish for love. People over the years have likened being in love to a form of madness or taking leave of our senses. That is fine, but when feathers are fanned in a cavalier fashion by a human psyche, that is a form of manipulation to which every one of us can own up to. When it becomes a problem, is when the human being believes that they are not worthy of external love and damn themselves with guilt. How does it become a problem? When society continually strives to get what it wants at all costs in the reckless pursuit of love.
A loop that we intelligent free thinking human beings keep getting force fed with. Notice the Freudian slip there?
Governments, churches, the media, all feed us this baloney. Why do these institutions become so powerful?
Ignorance is bliss.
Well to quote Dr Weekes
“Where ignorance is bliss ‘tis folly to be wise”
We have a duty to wise up first and foremost to ourselves, and then this natural unconditional self acceptance will progress to others and the bullying will stop. Or man’s dislike of man, because he cannot essentially be loved by another. Well free yourself of the guilt, because guilt creates anxiety that provokes fearful imagination, which ultimately paralyzes us This is a nonsensical loop. Where does that take us? Back to childlike thinking. Where does that take us? Back to manipulation. Where does that take us? Greed, anger, wars, death, destruction. Some comfort? All in the name of self-aggrandisement.
I am not speaking about the hippy, dope smoking, perception of love. Nor am I speaking of self-love. Because if you are in love with yourself then it is hard to have another loving relationship with someone else. I mean unconditional self-acceptance. Face your younger frightened, guilty, anxious, stressed out irrational demand and say hello in a friendly way. The way you would a naughty child with chocolate on his face, whilst denying he had eaten any. Then dispute it with tangible evidence. Allow freedom to grow
That is your essence. Your life force. That is as real as it gets. Trust self. 100 per cent.
Extract from my book: Breaking The Vicious Circle of Psychological Misery