Edinburgh Hypnotherapy
Client: “I have a job interview (A) coming up on Wednesday and I am feeling nervous (C). Touch wood, I hope it goes okay”.
Therapist: What’s the purpose of the interview?
Client: Ehh, what do you mean?
Therapist: Why are you going for the interview?
Client: To get a better job.
Therapist: So, this is a splendid opportunity for you to express your undoubted abilities.
Client: Well, you could say that!
Therapist: Why don’t you focus on the plank of wood and not the pit of snakes?
Client; What!
Therapist: If there was a plank of wood a foot wide, stretching from this wall to that wall and I said I would give you a £1000 if you could walk over, it without losing your balance, what would you say?
Client: No problem.
Therapist: Okay, what if there was a pit of snakes underneath the plank of wood.
Client: That’s different.
Therapist: All that has really changed is your focus of attention has moved from the plank of wood and onto the pit of snakes. Life with its inevitable hassles is representative of the pit of snakes. Just focus on the plank of wood.
The theme that commonly emerges with many people is their fear of failure or looking foolish in front of other people. This fear is created by the demand that he/she person is putting upon self to be liked and approved of thus creating a “what if I am not”. If your self-worth was a crystal vase and you kept handing it over to someone, you would become nervous if the dropped it!
Many people with difficulties are highly intelligent, self-conscious with a “PhD” in self-criticism.
If appropriate, I share with my clients that I am a recovering perfectionist.
I dispute these demands and inaccurate definitions by asking that if it is really, important what others think of you, if I were to think that you are a crocodile does that make you one?
Ego defence mechanisms are heightened by the person putting themselves under inordinate pressure not to make a mistake then create anxiety with a “what if” I do and someone sees this.
Self-esteem contaminating self-worth.