BIOLOGICALLY MISTAKE MAKING!
Even human beings who have had the most reality based balanced upbringing can escalate their thinking from preferences into demands. Dr Albert Ellis, creator of cognitive therapy. the animal within can come to the foreground and viciously be creative in its desire to abate the appetite. These primordial urges are deep within waiting to be provoked into an insatiable demand for love, (warmth, comfort and safety) under the guise of a spoilt child.
Survival mechanisms such as the flight or fight response are inbuilt primarily as a means of survival and protection but are cognitively moved into the “acceptable” realm of humanness by a non-self-helping inner voice. The sub-vocal voice within us.
Yes, we can be affected by external events but only we can disturb ourselves and keep ourselves disturbed!
The fact that if you were ridiculed when a child, that was bad enough, but if, at this point you still believe that you are a fool you will no doubt be compensating with an unacceptable demand thus maintaining anxiety and helplessness. Because you did not like how you felt and still now believe that it is/was unacceptable to be fallible in the first place, but since we have a pre-disposition to think irrationally, we also have a rational choice to refuse from upsetting our-self. We can then change our thinking bringing about at worst sadness, annoyance, and concern and not anxiety, anger and depression to our-selves.
Our inbuilt goal of survival has been superseded with self-destruction! That is irrational.
People are not disturbed by events but our perception of them. There is an “it “within me that makes me think that it is not me. Levi Strauss. That it is our ability to philosophise about our thinking, a higher entity than we are aware, it is the rational you. It is common sense gleaned from the rational civilised words and behaviours from our parents and society that is often overlooked in our relentless, greedy pursuit of unlimited “love” manipulated by conditional love can be unmasked at last by common sense. Not by an illogical attempt to make the therapist/counsellor/social worker feel in control by sympathising with psychobabble and pat on the heads with sugar lumps but with common sense effective evidence gathering as we will now do.