As a person who practices Psychotherapy.
Every presenting symptom I have dealt with has its roots in a perception of fear of failure, which is continually “protected” by a compensatory demand that “I Should not, Ought not, Must not fail or have the resultant symptom.” As a result of this continual protection of the initial perception/symptom, the person then experiences prolonged symptoms of Anxiety, depression, anger and self-defeating behaviour.
If the client were to understand that we as human beings have a biological tendency to think irrationally and therefore experience insecurity and if he were to keep his self-talk as no more than inconvenient and not awful, we would not amplify the original insecurity, we would at worst only experience sadness annoyance or concern. These being normal overcomeable rational emotions, we would then not constantly worry what others think or create a lot of imagined nonsense with “what ifs” which anti-depressants and spurious numerous therapies would then try to address.
In the quest for common sense to re-establish itself as a normal way of thinking it may be beneficial for you now to recreate a situation where you, with your thinking created anxiety, depression or anger, then, become very aware of your inner voice it will no doubt be very childlike and demanding.
Yes, it is this, which creates the symptoms you dislike so intensely not the situation, but the childlike demandingness that this situation with that/those people(s) should not, ought not, must not happen because if it does it is awful.
Since there are 8 billion fallible human beings on planet earth bad things are likely to happen! We move bad into awful by saying nothing bad should happen at all (whilst overlooking the fact that it has)!
Hypnotherapy Edinburgh